I’ve noticed that people wear armor… it looks different on everyone but nonetheless it’s a way for them to handle the stress and pain of day-to-day life. I think it is sad because this armor I think contributes to the feeling of being alone and cut off from others. For example, someone I knew used every painful moment in their life like it was some type of prized position to display like it was a warning label. Now there’s nothing wrong with that but It always had a level of aggression along with the description of events. My mother’s armor was her pride and claim to being the victim of abuse I actually noticed a lot of people cling to that title. For other people, a false sense of aggression or the ability to kick another’s ass is their armor.
For me, my armor was the ability to physically perform or work hard and speak with my action. This way of being was stripped away when I got hurt something happened mentally where my armor didn’t work anymore, and I had to spend some time with the rawness that is the things I was trying to protect or hide from. I spent a long time really confused and socially I didn’t know how to act most of the time I would just do the dishes to avoid conversations not because I had bad feelings about the person, I was talking to but because I never had the chance or option to interact with others until I turned 18 years old. But also, I think I feared hurting others because growing up where I did there was a fear deep down that I was the monster that hurt me out of fear of hurting others I did most of everything I could to stay away or limit interaction. My husband helped me come out of my shell and realize a lot of these things and over time I didn’t need my armor. This change did not come easy I remember after every social gathering I had a borderline panic attack out of fear of doing something that hurt, made someone uncomfortable, or overstepped.
I think a lot of people have some type of armor protecting something inside that they either don’t want to hurt or something that hurts so bad they lock it in a box and cover it in a false persona.
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