The beginning by: Amber Sherman.
My story starts out a bit rocky. Let’s just say I would not be here writing this based on events that happened during my mother’s pregnancy.
My mother and father were happily dating, until my mother became pregnant the first pregnancy was a miscarriage and the second pregnancy was with me. During her pregnancy with me, my birth father became abusive both physical and verbal towards my mother. He treated her & my half older brother poorly during the duration of her time with him. When she was roughly five months pregnant my birth father poisoned my mother with false morels, morels are a type of mushroom that can normally be eaten, however if not careful false morels could be eaten instead.
(Big Red False Morel, n.d.)
While mistakes are made and accidents happen, he fed her and not himself making it somewhat obvious that perhaps he knew what they really were. I later discovered that he was an avid forager and most likely knew exactly what he was doing. She got very sick, and so did I she pulled through and later learned that she was going to have twins! Unfortunately, only one of the babies survived. After she recovered, she carried her baby (Me) to term. For the rest of my mother’s pregnancy my birth father only got worse after she was poisoned. He started making her feel horrible about herself, he said and did many abusive things to her. While he was being abusive, he was also partaking in drug and alcohol abuse.
On the day I was born my mother had experienced almost a whole day delivering all while dealing with my birth father being drunk angry and no help at all. While she was resting, he changed my birth name from Amanda Marie Marble to Amber Charlene Sherman. This was of course 100% against her wishes yet because he was on my birth certificate, she could not do anything about it. That was my name I always hated it because, of that story and the fact that my mother grew to fester hatred towards me and my name, in the back of my mind as a child I always thought about how my name came from a drunk broken man.
Six days after I was born my mother and birth father moved from Tillamook, Oregon to Montana. She lived there for some time with him while the physical and mental abusiveness grew exponentially. My mother would exclaim in stories about these times that he would call her fat, stupid, worthless, the list of names could continue to fill this page alone. For about a year and a half she and him battled and fought. It always seemed like they were grasping at a rose bush thinking if they held on tight enough it would not hurt anymore. She became with child again with my little brother, she moved back to the northwest side of the United States. During her pregnancy with my little brother, she did not have too many issues aside from the continued abusively awful significant other. She gave birth to my little brother and life was ok for a little while until she left home for a business trip…
This happened when I was around 2 years old, myself and my little brother stayed with my birth father. Due to safety concerns regarding my birth father threatening my oldest brother’s life and wellbeing my older brother stayed with our grandparents. Why we all didn’t go is unbeknownst to me. This will most likely be a talking point in the future. While my mother was away my birth father spent most of his time drinking and doing drugs, now my little brother was a baby, and I was a toddler. He was cruel and neglectful to us during the time she was gone. One evening he called my mother while he was on a bountiful amount of drugs and after drinking for some time. When he called, he told her that “he was going to kill himself, and her cunt children” That evening she called the cops and his parents (my grandparents on his side) when they arrived, he was running around naked and covered in his own filth. They found me holding my little brother under a desk hiding from this insane broken man. He was then arrested and removed from the house this was a startling realization for my mother as to how truly broken he was. After this display of dysfunction, a true endangerment for her kids she decided to get away and finally separate from this broken, dysfunctional man. Many things came through when me and my siblings were questioned my child services the situation was far graver then my mother had realized.
What you have just read was the first two years of my life. Pretty interesting start if you ask me! In the next blog I will talk about what happened after she finally got away! Thank you for reading my story.
References:
Big Red False Morel. (n.d.). Missouri Department of Conservation. https://mdc.mo.gov/discover-nature/field-guide/big-red-false-morel
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